People rant too much. I, specifically, rant too much. I rant and notice the tiniest of the most annoying things as if my life is a mess. Recently, I find myself sitting by the pool in my gym attire and instead of thinking happy thoughts, I stress myself by thinking about what I lack; about other people's problems; and of course my own, incoming, problems. Just now I have this new resolution (more like, realization) that I will never ever make myself feel bad anymore. I just don't get it. I get mad at someone for making me feel bad and yet, I, myself bombard my thoughts and batter my feelings with shallow uncertainties and paranoia. It is a part of growing up, I believe, to undergo self-identity crisis, but I know I'm past that. It's just that immaturity kicks in sometimes. Even at 40, we could still surprise ourselves by acting like 10-year-olds. And it's summer today! All I should think about is having a blast and... food. Although I try not to think about the latter too much...
Anyway, for my first Something That Makes Me Smile post, this is a picture of me and 2 of my mothers. Yes, 2 of my 3 moms. My life is way complicated than I can tell you. But to make it short, my mom lives abroad, I study here, so therefore I'm left with my grandma and my tita. This makes me smile for the simplest reason that we are reunited. At least for a month every year, I get to be with both of them at the smae time. And another reason why this picture means so much to me is because of my grandma's genuine smile. It's not always you see her like that. Truth is, she's the terror of everyone. I could still remember my high school days when she used to be a teacher in the same school. Everybody feared her. She's the perfect image of this really strict English teacher cliche. Actually, even at home. All our friends are afraid of her 'cause she doesn't really smile and she has this natural frown that seems to complete her beautiful, fierce German-esque/Hitler face she got from her dad. You should wait for my post with all her pictures as a teen. But of course, that's just what's on the outside. Nobody knows how nice she is, and how shallow her happiness is. She checks on us every night before we go to sleep; she takes care of us; she always look like she won the lottery whenever there's a new Koreanovela (Korean series) on KBS; she laughs at the simplest things. It's just that, I think she chose to display her fierce side than her soft side because she's a teacher. And that's a good, effortless way to ensure that your students respect you.
