Well chaps, I'm back in Manila. We bid farewell again. I've lost count but goodbyes are as often as celebrating Christmas, new year and my birthday. Practically because there are certain people who come and leave during those times of the year. This year, summer joins the team (again). This is what I hate about my life. I'm not complaining. It's just that goodbyes are something major in my life. Like, I can't remember one whole year without me bidding goodbye to a loved one. There's not a year where my happiness isn't fleeting. I'm an independent... girl. Almost a woman. I don't mind living alone. I don't mind living in solitude at all. But every time somebody leaves, or in this case, every time I leave somebody, the independent me seems to be dragged and trapped to the underworld for a month or so until I recover. Ya I know it's normal to feel that way but, for 7 years that it has always been like that and I never got used to it?
Anyway, as the plane speeds up and eventually angles to the sky last night, Dubai awed me more. I thought I already did appreciate everything the city has to offer but, looking at it from afar, in a plane, with a very emotional mood makes the city more beautiful and harder to leave. The skyscrapers, which I'm guessing is where our building is included, looked like shadows of LEGOs. Burj Khalifa's blinking lights were still visible. Honestly, I cried as everything in my view shrank with every furtherance of the plane. Suddenly, my window gives me a view of nothing but sheer darkness. I thought of our house and how I do my routines in it for two months. I thought of even the simplest things I ever did in that house such as walking around it, cleaning it, etc, and I felt in my heart that I'm going to miss it. That it's not just a house, it's home where I got to be with the ones I love and baked the best chocolate cake in. I thought of my mom and dad and I found myself in a swirl of emotions complemented by a pack of questions. In those 2 months of my stay, did I prove something to them? Or, did I upset them and disappoint by failing in whatever they expect from me? Did I make them happy? Or, was I such a huge burden both to their lives and their wallets? I don't know the answers but, all I know is that they gave me the best vacation I've ever had (so far). And that they made me happy. Living with them in just two months made me realize a profounder meaning of life. A confidential one, sorry. It's all too obvious that I'd miss them soo much that it pains me to even bother asking the never-answered question of when will we be together again/for good? *sigh. C'est la vie. Or at least in my life, that's how it is.
And then here comes the hard part. I thought about my brother and I found myself sobbing and wiping my tear-flooded face. Oh brotha! Flashbacks of how we used to play and laugh haunted and insinuated fear on me. The fear of meeting him, hugging him again but by that time, he'd be pushing me away and his face would draw the look of unfamiliarity as if I'm a kidnapper. I hate the fact that I'm never going to see him grow up. Pictures are different from what's happening in reality. They're just like memos and post-its. They're just mediums that help us remember a highlight of something. Seeing and actually watching him walk vis a vis is different from looking at a picture of him walking. You won't even know that he's walking by just looking at a picture. What if he's just making a step? Or striking a boring pose? Unless the one who took the shot told you so, then you would know what the subject's doing. Videos, as well, are, of course, different from seeing it in actual flesh. It's just really hard when you're not that attached to someone and yet you want it otherwise, and you cannot do anything about what you want but just go with the current. Specially when there's a huge depth between you. Hundreds and thousands of miles away from each other. Right now, it's a thank-God-for-the-internet-slash-new-technology moment again for me. I'd be all weird and baby talking to him through this 12-inch screen again. Trust me, it's better than nothing.
Anyway!!! To flush away the drama that my emotions forced my fingers to type, I would miss Dubai's shopping malls and beaches. What the hell, everything is there!!! I was even surprised to see Bench in one of their malls!!! Dubai's just, one hell of a package. You live there, you get a well deserved job (mostly high-paying. If not, enough for you to survive. Unless you're swiping your debit card too much). Combine the two of that with common sense, you can do almost everything! I wouldn't say that life is easy but I don't see any hassle upon living in Dubai. Not yet, maybe. Wide range of job opportunities; the bank allows you to buy the most expensive cars; if you don't have a car, then there's a really clean, unpolluted, and safe metro as an alternative; taxis are everywhere and it's safe to take them; almost all brands are available in the country; Sales and price reductions are almost as often as getting your monthly salary (I'm making it up. But what I'm trying to say is that there's always always always going to be a sale in Dubai. More often than always, maybe.); almost everywhere is scenic; the weather is nice most of the time; the beach is within reach; and as for me, my mom, dad and Sandro's there. So yeah, my heart beats for that country. I'd still miss the heat though I'm experiencing almost the same intensity of heat here. I'd miss the short nights and long days of Dubai. I'd miss the metro. The very efficient metro for commuters like moi. I shall return... and stay a little bit more longer next time.
