I am originally from the Philippines and my whole life, I have lived in sheer and utter (and most of the time abused) democracy. I was born a free woman. No one could tell me what and what not to do; after turning 18, no one could dictate curfews (I'm lucky to have such wonderful, trusting parents - as long as I run down the details clearly to them); and the best, I would say, from all these wonderful things that came along with the Philippine constitution's Article 3 Section 2 (Bill of Rights) is that I am free to express my self in any way possible - that includes having the freedom to dress how you want. Or at least I had the freedom to do so...
Now that I've migrated to the Middle East, I'm having a bit of a situation. As we all know, UAE is a Muslim country. And since I'm a foreigner to an Arab country, they expect everyone, may it be expats/tourists/residents, to dress conservatively as well.
What's my situation, you ask? Well, I have been approached too many times in the mall by either the mall security or a local woman, and too many times have I been lectured about my clothing. It drove (and still is driving) me nuts! I never had a problem with wearing shorts or casual dresses to the mall! NEVER! In fact, my closet contains 99% shorts and 1% pants. I own, like, a dozen pairs of shorts and I wear it everyday, everywhere! Not to mention that I even wore some of those shorts in this country two years ago (click here for proof). I always find myself pissed at these people trying to control my wardrobe. I think it's ridiculous, really. Why? Here are a few of my reasons:
1. If they really don't want to see anyone wearing shorts or dresses that has "insufficient length" in their definition, why don't they tell all the malls in UAE to stop selling shorts or "offensive" clothes?
2. Dubai is a hodgepodge of ethnicities and it is one of the top destinations in the world. Different people=different cultures. Like they said, it is in their culture to dress conservatively, but then again, it is also in some other people's culture to dress freely. They can't just ask those people to "change for them". It's like almost asking them to convert.
3. I don't know if I'm really just a magnet or if I'm sensing racism here. I see a LOT of women of other nationalities frolicking around the mall in tiny spaghetti-strapped tops that reveal 3/4 of their breasts paired with shorts that are skimpier than what I'm clad with, yet I'm always the one getting these "dress respectfully" cards from mall securities. I, who is clothed in a decent top and my usual mall shorts. I'm always the one who gets lectures from these Emirati women. Seriously, what is up with that?!
Although I partly blame myself for being such a strong "magnet" to raging securities and locals. I stand 5'9 and you could just imagine how long my legs are (humble brag). Any pair of shorts would look really short on me, no need to explain that. But don't get me wrong. I don't dress scantily. I just don't see anything wrong with showing your legs! I don't reveal my cleavage, not that I have anything to reveal but because THAT'S what could fall under 'uncomfortable'. And not only that. I think women should be able to dress to their definition of what's comfortable without being shamed and preyed on (by perverts). Come to think of it, why would I adjust for men's inability to control their hormones? Cover myself up so I don't get stared at or worse, raped? I should be able to feel safe regardless of what I'm wearing! The way people think in this part of the world is fucked up.
So that pretty much concludes it. In this country, there's discrimination in gender, race, and among all things, height (I shouldn't be but I'm bitter). They always go on and on about respecting their culture, etcetera, etcetera. But, come to think about it. The word 'respect' has a vast definition depending on who is demanding for one. So whenever I get noticed for wearing shorts in the mall, whenever they demand respect from me, I want to tell them that my clothing isn't how I show respect to people. I grew up knowing a different kind of respect. I don't make fun of them, or shout at them, or whatever, and that is what 'respect' is to me. They want to be treated with respect just as much as I want respect from them to let me wear clothes of my own choice. It's not like I'm on fire that I reeeaaally really need to wear minimal clothing anywhere. My clothing doesn't even fall under the 'almost naked' category to start with. I have limits and I know how to avoid dressing up like a skank. I seriously think they have to loosen up and cut people from different cultures some slack.
But then again, this is their country. If I have anything to say about their rules or their culture, I would just be one tiny voice against a multitude. And it sucks! Anyway, as for this little dilemma, I have been trying my best to adapt. I mean, what other choices do I have aside from adapting vs stressing over the same damn thing? I choose to adapt. I'm trying to make a list of reasons as to why I should stop wearing shorts and have a total wardrobe makeover with a ratio of 7 pairs of pants to 3 pairs of shorts and so far, I've come up with these:
1. I hate being stared at. Either by men or women. I just hate it! I want to give them the finger and tell them to F off, but I don't want to end up in jail.
2. I think it's time to stop dressing like a teenager... I'm trying to convince myself that it's about time I invest in 'spensive pairs of jeans, classy tops and a lot of heels, especially now that I've just recently landed a job (YAY!)
3. I still have huge thighs...
4. I want to have peace of mind. I want to stop worrying! I get too paranoid that someone might come up to me and force me to (yet again) either buy a pair of jeans or get my ass out of the mall. (I think this could also double up as their marketing strategy...)--which is causing me to avoid locals or to speed past them,
So... ya! I'm slowly reinventing my closet again. I can't believe that I've actually considered buying these long ones just to get out of trouble.
P.P.S.
I miss wearing shorts :(
Now that I've migrated to the Middle East, I'm having a bit of a situation. As we all know, UAE is a Muslim country. And since I'm a foreigner to an Arab country, they expect everyone, may it be expats/tourists/residents, to dress conservatively as well.
What's my situation, you ask? Well, I have been approached too many times in the mall by either the mall security or a local woman, and too many times have I been lectured about my clothing. It drove (and still is driving) me nuts! I never had a problem with wearing shorts or casual dresses to the mall! NEVER! In fact, my closet contains 99% shorts and 1% pants. I own, like, a dozen pairs of shorts and I wear it everyday, everywhere! Not to mention that I even wore some of those shorts in this country two years ago (click here for proof). I always find myself pissed at these people trying to control my wardrobe. I think it's ridiculous, really. Why? Here are a few of my reasons:
1. If they really don't want to see anyone wearing shorts or dresses that has "insufficient length" in their definition, why don't they tell all the malls in UAE to stop selling shorts or "offensive" clothes?
2. Dubai is a hodgepodge of ethnicities and it is one of the top destinations in the world. Different people=different cultures. Like they said, it is in their culture to dress conservatively, but then again, it is also in some other people's culture to dress freely. They can't just ask those people to "change for them". It's like almost asking them to convert.
3. I don't know if I'm really just a magnet or if I'm sensing racism here. I see a LOT of women of other nationalities frolicking around the mall in tiny spaghetti-strapped tops that reveal 3/4 of their breasts paired with shorts that are skimpier than what I'm clad with, yet I'm always the one getting these "dress respectfully" cards from mall securities. I, who is clothed in a decent top and my usual mall shorts. I'm always the one who gets lectures from these Emirati women. Seriously, what is up with that?!
Although I partly blame myself for being such a strong "magnet" to raging securities and locals. I stand 5'9 and you could just imagine how long my legs are (humble brag). Any pair of shorts would look really short on me, no need to explain that. But don't get me wrong. I don't dress scantily. I just don't see anything wrong with showing your legs! I don't reveal my cleavage, not that I have anything to reveal but because THAT'S what could fall under 'uncomfortable'. And not only that. I think women should be able to dress to their definition of what's comfortable without being shamed and preyed on (by perverts). Come to think of it, why would I adjust for men's inability to control their hormones? Cover myself up so I don't get stared at or worse, raped? I should be able to feel safe regardless of what I'm wearing! The way people think in this part of the world is fucked up.
So that pretty much concludes it. In this country, there's discrimination in gender, race, and among all things, height (I shouldn't be but I'm bitter). They always go on and on about respecting their culture, etcetera, etcetera. But, come to think about it. The word 'respect' has a vast definition depending on who is demanding for one. So whenever I get noticed for wearing shorts in the mall, whenever they demand respect from me, I want to tell them that my clothing isn't how I show respect to people. I grew up knowing a different kind of respect. I don't make fun of them, or shout at them, or whatever, and that is what 'respect' is to me. They want to be treated with respect just as much as I want respect from them to let me wear clothes of my own choice. It's not like I'm on fire that I reeeaaally really need to wear minimal clothing anywhere. My clothing doesn't even fall under the 'almost naked' category to start with. I have limits and I know how to avoid dressing up like a skank. I seriously think they have to loosen up and cut people from different cultures some slack.
But then again, this is their country. If I have anything to say about their rules or their culture, I would just be one tiny voice against a multitude. And it sucks! Anyway, as for this little dilemma, I have been trying my best to adapt. I mean, what other choices do I have aside from adapting vs stressing over the same damn thing? I choose to adapt. I'm trying to make a list of reasons as to why I should stop wearing shorts and have a total wardrobe makeover with a ratio of 7 pairs of pants to 3 pairs of shorts and so far, I've come up with these:
1. I hate being stared at. Either by men or women. I just hate it! I want to give them the finger and tell them to F off, but I don't want to end up in jail.
2. I think it's time to stop dressing like a teenager... I'm trying to convince myself that it's about time I invest in 'spensive pairs of jeans, classy tops and a lot of heels, especially now that I've just recently landed a job (YAY!)
3. I still have huge thighs...
4. I want to have peace of mind. I want to stop worrying! I get too paranoid that someone might come up to me and force me to (yet again) either buy a pair of jeans or get my ass out of the mall. (I think this could also double up as their marketing strategy...)--which is causing me to avoid locals or to speed past them,
So... ya! I'm slowly reinventing my closet again. I can't believe that I've actually considered buying these long ones just to get out of trouble.
I'll eventually get used to this. I hope.
P.S.
Sorry for the long rant. Just have to let it all out.
P.P.S.
I miss wearing shorts :(
